In one of my classes this week, we talked about Marissa Mayer, the newly appointed CEO of Yahoo. (See the link for more info.) Nobody has been talking about her credentials or her vision for the company. Instead, every major news outlet has run a story about her pregnancy (GASP!) and the concept of women “having it all”: a career, a marriage, kids, and leisure time.
It seems like women without “real world” experience believe women can do it all, but women with working experience are better able to recognize the harsh realities of our society.
The Legal World
I’m bringing this up because a female migraineur, I especially feel like I will never be able to “have it all.” I saw how much working lawyers struggled to be both successful mothers and successful attorneys. I took a mental note of every female attorney I encountered: it seemed like either their kids hated them and they were partners or judges OR their kids adored them and they would never get promoted. I fully believe that if I had stayed a lawyer, I would not be able to have children, something I had always wanted.
My Own Choice
In my own career, I had to pick whether I wanted to keep exposing myself to extreme migraine triggers and have a prestigious career or whether I wanted to choose a career that would be better for my health even though it wouldn’t bring as much financial success. It was a HARD decision and it took working with a therapist for me to realize I wanted the latter.
I’m as feminist as they come, but society has slapped me across the face with its version of reality the past few years. It pains me to say it, but I believe that right now, we can’t have it all. Whether we’re women, workers, wives, migraineurs, mothers, or all of the above, we are light years away from having it all.
What do you think? Do you think women can “have it all”? Do you think migraineurs can “have it all”?